Tag: Stripes

3 Articles
How to create your guest list for your dream wedding: 10 must-have tips

The guest list. Many a happy couple have had their first, and biggest, wedding-related fight as a result of the dreaded guest list. Stripes has seen it all before, and she can guess it is not going to stop any time soon. Never in your life did you think that aunt Ellie whom you have not seen for 10 years will all of a sudden be the most popular family member, or that all of a sudden your uncle is persona non grata after pointing out that certain double standards are always set when it comes to who to invite, and who not to. And you kind of agree with him.

As couples’ budgets grow smaller, so have the wedding guest list also followed suit. In days gone past it was not unusual to have a wedding with 300 to 500 guests (I cannot imagine…) Everyone was invited, and everyone came. These days a big wedding is considered 100 to 150 guests, with smaller more intimate weddings being the flavour of the decade.

Stripes would strongly recommend that you work out your guest list before starting to search for a wedding venue. Can you imagine finding the venue of your dreams only to realise they can only accommodate 40 guests and you are inviting 120, or their minimum guest count is 100 and you only have 40 guests on the list? So first the list, then the venue. Remember you also need to keep in mind your budget, and the type of wedding you and your partner wants. Are you dreaming about a low key, intimate affair or more of a lavish party?
And she says there are a few other helpful tips that she will gladly give you!

So which groups are you considering when deciding whom to invite?
• Immediate family
Start with your parents, grandparents, siblings, their partners and their children. Then move down a step to add your aunts, uncles and cousins that you see regularly.
• Distant family
Family members that you keep in touch with, and would like to share the day with. But, if a friend trumps that family member, rather go with the friend.
• Friends
Start with your closest friends and then think about friends you speak to regularly, friends from your school years, university or college, neighbours that you are friends with or friends that you feel could be a great addition to your wedding guest list, i.e. that one friend who can get anyone on the dance floor, or who makes the best speeches.
• Work colleagues
Depending on how long you have worked for the company, how long you are still planning on working for them, as well as the relationship between yourself and them. You may want to invite your boss and a colleague or two, but that wholly depends on the situation and context.
• Plus ones
In certain cases adding plus ones can almost double your initial guest count. Practice how to be ruthless. You can even try the American phrase “no ring? No bring!” to imply that only friends who are engaged or married are allowed plus ones.
• Family friends/friends of the parents
This should be a very open and honest discussion between your partner and yourself and your sets of parents. Be upfront about what you can afford, as well as your vision for the day, and hope that they will understand.
• Children
Sometimes you have no option but to invite them. This should be one of the first things you and your partner decide on as it can dramatically change the planning and dynamics of the day. If you do choose to not invite kids, just remember there is a chance that some guests will not be able to make it because they do not have a babysitter.

Here are Stripes top tips for creating a wedding guest list:
Tip #1:
Don’t verbally invite guests. It often happens that you forget whether the specific person was on the A or B list, or actually invited at all. But now you have invited them, wrongly. This may cause disappointment, embarrassment or even resentment. Also, careful how you talk during this time. Saying things like “you will see at the wedding” might sound very innocent to you, but to an interested person that might sound like a confirmation that they will in actual fact be invited. On the other hand, guests might also try to invite themselves by saying this like “I cannot wait to be at the wedding”. For these situations, work out a firm yet friendly reply to make sure they understand that they are not invited. Something like “we would have loved to have a big wedding, but unfortunately budget and venue constraints are not allowing it”.

Tip #2:
Try and keep the division of guest numbers between the two families fair and equal. Or you can try the traditional split of 50% for the couple, and 25% for each set of parents. So for an 80 guest venue you get to invite 40, and each set of parents 20 each.

Tip #3:
Don’t forget to include children in your guest list numbers, if you are inviting them. Although some venues give discounts or special prices for kids younger than certain ages, you will only know that once you have chosen a venue so until then they are part of the numbers. If you choose to not invite kids, make sure your guests are made aware of this on the invitations.

Tip #4:
The wedding couple counts as guests too, so must be included in the guest count.

Tip #5:
When you have your short list of possible venues, remember to check for minimum numbers for specific venue and packages. This can have a major impact on your final budget.

Tip #6:
Your service providers must also be catered for, so they are also included in your guest list. That means your DJ, photographer, videographer, entertainment, etc. must all have a seat, and you pay for them as guests.

Tip #7:
Make sure that there is absolute clarity regarding who pays for what, and if the fact that they are contributing financially gives them say over the guest list. If this is going to be a problem you would rather want to know about it and sort it out in the beginning than later on when you have already paid deposits or made other arrangements.

Tip #8:
Create your dream list, with everyone you would really want to invite on it. Add everyone your partner would want to invite, as well as the parents. Doesn’t matter if this list is super long, you will use it as a reference later on. From here, start to trim your guest list down to the desired number. This dream list helps with 2 things: 1. If you have cancellations and need to fill seats, you have a quick reference list to help determine your B list and 2. If you, later on, feel like you want to invite someone, check if they were on the dream list, to begin with. If not, then why would you want to add them now? Reality check! Don’t know where to start to cut the dream list? Devise some rules and use them to determine the final guest list. A few examples of rules you can use:
• Rule 1: If neither of you has spoken to or met them or heard their name before, don’t invite them.
• Rule 2: Not crazy about inviting children to your party? Don’t feel bad about having an adults-only wedding.
• Rule 3: If neither of you has spoken to them in three years and they’re not related to you, don’t invite them.
• Rule 4: If there’s anyone who’s on the list because you feel guilty about leaving them off (maybe because you were invited to their wedding or they’re friends with lots of people who are invited), don’t invite them.

Tip #9:
And on that note – have an A and a B list. The A list is those people you cannot imagine not sharing your wedding with. They receive the first round of invitations. As the RSVPs come in if you have “regrets” you can invite people from the B list to full up space. A very handy tip here – send out your A list invites 10 weeks in advance as opposed to the usual 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding. That gives you enough time to still send out the B list invites at a respectable date, so those guests will never know that they were “second best”.

Tip #10:
Remember your budget! The easiest way to decide on the number of guests to invite is to work out how much you can afford to invite. The more people you invite, the more expensive it becomes. To work out your budget available for the guests, your venue should take up roughly 10% of your total budget, and the catering roughly 25%. But remember, other factors will also increase in price if the guest list goes up; things like hiring, décor, flowers, serving staff, etc.

Who should you not invite?
1. Friends you have not spoken to in years
You might have been besties in primary school, but since then have not had any meaningful contact. Don’t invite them.

2. Estranged or MIA family members
If you have no bond, then do not feel bad not inviting them.

3. Work friends
Unless they are true heart friends, don’t feel obliged.

4. Returning-the-favour wedding invites
Just because they invited you doesn’t mean you have to invite them. Full stop.

5. Neighbours
Again, if they aren’t heart friends, don’t invite them.

6. Friends who always misbehave
That one friend who is banned from a long list of places, who always end up passed out somewhere or leaves without paying their bill. Don’t invite them. If you have to invite them, then have a serious talk with them before the big day.

7. The offspring of family and friends
Unless they are a part of your life, then don’t feel pressured to invite them.

8. Plus-ones you have never met
Remember – no ring, no bring?

Stripes says you must just remember that it is your big day and that you should have the last say. Only invite people who will share your joy and love. If they will not, then don’t allow them to be there. She also says good luck…

Stripes has seen her fair share of weddings, and the number one thing she will always comment on is the obscene amount that people are willing to spend on one single day. And although Laughing Chefs tries to see every budget as a guideline and not a target, some of the budgets that we have come into contact with have been sky high.

Why? She always wants to know. Why would people spend so much on one day, just so that they can start their lives together in debt? Or with parents who have to struggle because they spent everything on the wedding. Even if you have enough money, not even endless piles can justify spending money on those things that most people are not even aware of. Never mind the mindless forking out of cash, you are also contributing to a consumption-driven culture, waste, and unachievable expectations of every budget bride out there.

Every girl (and boys – they are not excluded) dreams of her big day. She wants everything to be perfect, from the dress right down to the serviette rings. And that costs money. If you do not have a lot to go around to start with, Stripes has compiled a list of 22 things that you can leave out, without your guests even noticing. Not only will this save you money, but also countless hours of research, sourcing, making, and worrying. Although there are a lot of things she can add, she decided it was too early in the year to write a lengthy article so she decided to stick to these 22 points.

Stripes says, the rule of thumb is to decide what you want to remember from your wedding day, together with what is the most important to you. Then allocate more budget to these things, taking away budget from things that are not that important to you. But, she says, remember that food is usually the measuring stick used by guests to label a wedding as having been good or bad, and in the end, you only have your photos to remember the day by. So spend more on your food and photographer, and less on those details that most guests never pay attention to, such as;

22 Things you can trim from your wedding, without your guests noticing:

  1. Go paperless

Lately, there has been a shift towards digital in every plane of life, so why not extend it to your invitations? Send out your save the dates, or pre-wedding invitations, via email or a chat service such as Whatsapp or WeChat. If you really want to go the printed route, stick to simple yet elegant designs, normal paper or cardstock, and no embellishments, foil work or other details that cost an arm and leg and usually end up in the trash afterwards. You can also invite everyone digitally, and then print a few elaborate and beautiful invitations for your grandparents, and one that you can keep as a memento.

  1. Skip the open bar

Instead of having an open bar, with a set limit or without, rather opt for a wine bar or pre-order a select amount of drinks that are then served throughout the night. If these drinks run out, or guests would like something else, they can buy for themselves from the cash bar. A wine bar is a wonderful option – a number of bottles are placed on a table, together with glasses. Guests then help themselves. What makes this option, even more, cost-effective is because guests are pouring from one central point you don’t end up with a bunch of open, half-drunk bottles of wine that you can do nothing with.

  1. Use what you already have

Incorporate items that you already own into your décor. Doing this saves money, but also ensures that your stamp of individuality is on your wedding. Items that you might already own: glass jars for flowers, beautiful shawls or pashminas for tablecloths, old books, etc. Also, get a list of décor items that are included in your venue hire, or if not included get the prices. It can work out cheaper hiring in from them since you avoid transport costs.

  1. Get married off-season, or on a weekday

For brilliant cost savings, consider getting married in the winter months, or if you want a summer wedding, on a Friday or even a Sunday. You can also look at a mid-week wedding. Some venues offer as much as 20% off for weekday or Sunday weddings, and usually 10% off for Friday weddings. Stripes know that Laughing Chefs has nice specials for the winter months.

  1. Learn how to wedding plan

If you really want to be hands-on, the best cost-saving advice that Stripes can give you would be to take a course in wedding planning. There are numerous workshops and courses out there, and although usually directed at individuals who would like to make wedding planning their career, you can learn a thing or two applicable to your own wedding. Stripes says she has heard rumours of exciting things to come at Laughing Chefs but will keep you updated.

  1. Bulk out your bouquet with cheaper options

With flowers, the biggest expense is not the physical blooms but rather the labour involved in buying, transporting, and arranging the blooms. Pick your flowers carefully, then add elements that are cheaper but that will add flair and drama, or make the bouquet softer/dreamy/etc. For example, berries, feathers, foliage, bulbs, etc.

  1. Serve a signature drink

Serve a custom-designed cocktail or signature drink instead of a full bar.

  1. Candles instead of flowers

Using large pillar candles as your centrepiece not only increases the elegance and flair, it also decreases the costs. You can hire refillable candles at a fraction of the cost of flowers, and candlelight creates the most beautiful ambience.

  1. Change the serving style of the food

French service or plated is your most expensive options, followed closely by waiter service of finger foods or canapes. The most cost-effective serving style is family-style, where the waiters’ place bowls of food on the tables and guests help themselves. The misconception is that buffet is cheap, but if you do a nice buffet and you do it well, it can work out more than plated food! Be honest and upfront with your caterer to ensure you stay within budget.

  1. Limit your guest list

Invite only people who play a part in your life. Skip the plus-ones, and forget the guilt-invites. Decide on the number of guests that your budget will comfortably cover and stick to that number. If you have a lot of friends or even family that didn’t make the cut but with whom you still want to celebrate consider throwing an after-the-fact party and invite them all.

  1. Champagne is for toasts only

Get only enough bottles to allow for one glass per person. Ask the venue or caterer to pour the champagne at the bar or in the kitchen then serve to the guests. This way you ensure everyone gets, with little wastage.

  1. Consider a Wedding Breakfast or Brunch

Breakfasts, brunches, and afternoon teas are usually more affordable than evening receptions: They’re shorter, the fare is lighter, and guests tend to consume less alcohol early in the day.

  1. Go all-inclusive

Find a venue that includes a list of things in their packages. Some listed items might seem pointless to you, such as specifying that they have toilets for men and women, but once there you will be grateful. If the venue includes décor, see where you can tweak your theme to incorporate those items, even if it might mean having to change your colour palette slightly.

  1. Change the style of the wedding

The less formal the party, the more affordable it will be. Instead of a full, sit-down dinner, opt for a brunch reception or more laid-back cocktail-style meal. Choose a venue with a low-key vibe, like a barn or farm, which lends itself perfectly to a simpler, more relaxed celebration with fewer bells and whistles.

  1. Bouton-ette your bridesmaids

Instead of costly and elaborate bouquets for your bridesmaids, rather opt for a single bloom pinned to their dresses boutonniere style. Not only will you save money, but you will also allow your wedding party to make a statement.

  1. Elaborate decor and expensive place settings

Don’t feel guilty about skipping things like place cards, fancy aisle runners, chair covers, or little handwritten menus or signs. Guests will either not notice that you went with the plain or basic instead of the more expensive option, or they will notice but not care. Instead, choose a venue that is beautiful as it is, and lends itself well to the chosen look.

  1. Make cake the dessert course

Stripes has seen scary things, such as almost an entire wedding cake being thrown away because guests just never got round to eating it. They were too busy nibbling on the dessert buffet. To stop this from happening, or at least minimise your risk, serve your wedding cake either as the sole dessert course, or paired with one other dessert. This kind of forces guests to have cake, and eat it too. Just make sure your wedding cake is actually nice and edible!

  1. Wedding coordinator

Hire a wedding coordinator to save you time and money. Most brides think that hiring a wedding coordinator will break their budget, but it’s a little-known fact that wedding coordinators can actually save you money after you get all the discounts and perks they have arranged with partner vendors. But use caution when selecting a planner: Anyone can call herself a “wedding planner.” Look for someone who is certified or have a proven track record. Phone past clients if you want 100% peace of mind.

  1. Order two cakes instead of one

Cake one – the beautiful one decorated according to your theme and colour palette. Cake two – a simple sheet cake in the same flavour as the main cake, which is cut up and served from the kitchens. Guests will never know, and you save pockets of money! If you want to be adventurous or have a large guest list, you can even do a few flavours of sheet cake.

  1. Decrease the hours that you need a photographer for

Speed up the traditional or symbolic acts that you want to be filmed. Move the cake cutting, first dance, and bouquet toss to early in the night. Guests won’t necessarily work out why, but you will – by getting these things out of the way the photographer can leave early, thus cutting down on the per-hour costs.

  1. Change expensive bubbly for less expensive options

What is in a name? A few 00 after the R, that is what. The sad reality is that most wedding guests cannot tell a sparkling wine from an MCC, let alone a glass of champagne. And I can assure you, most of the time up to 80% of all guests do not drink dry bubbly. To stop them from wasting your expensive stuff, rather opt for less expensive sparkling wine, and choose the sweeter varieties instead of the dry.

  1. Wedding favours

While precious mason jars filled with homemade pastries and jams are now in vogue, they’re unnecessary expenses that your guests probably won’t even remember in the first place. If you want to send something home with them, get a few paper boxes and place them at the wedding cake. Guests can then take a slice home to enjoy later.

These are the 22 things that Stripes wishes she could say to almost every bride that comes through the door. Remember it is about your marriage, not your wedding. Oh, and money doesn’t grow on trees, spend it wisely.

Anything that you can add?

2018 might have treated you well. It might have thrown you around a bit. Or you might have emerged (thankfully intact) on the other side battered and bruised. No matter how 2018 was, 2019 can always be better. Of course, that would be a good wish, but Stripes knows you expect more of her. And so her wishes for you for 2019 must be a bit more elaborate.

1. A year of celebrations
May 2019 be filled with victories, accomplishments and love that needs to be celebrated. Of course, reaching the weekend, or surviving a Monday, or not crying after a very difficult day are also successes, and we need to celebrate our successes. So open that bottle, pop the cork, prepare that special dish, or even better yet get someone else in to do it for you. Celebrate in style, and in comfort, in 2019. Stripes says “remember that Laughing Chefs does the best private cheffing around! Get them to do the work so you can enjoy the celebration”.


2. The knowledge that happiness comes from within
May 2019 be the year that you accomplish inner peace. Stripes wish that you will realise that only you can make yourself happy and that you do not need a lot to be happy. It is a feeling, not a thing. And if you find it difficult to reach inner peace and the happiness that comes from really knowing yourself and being in balance, she says you are welcome to come and spend some quiet time on De Oude Deck, overlooking the bushveld, or staring up at the mountain. Outer peace might just help you with your inner peace. Bring the family with, Laughing Chefs will cook for them and according to them, no dishes is as close to happiness as can be!


3. Rosy cheeks, and tables decorated in living coral
May 2019 exceed your expectations. Stripes predict that this year will be the year for growth and for strengthening. She says there is a reason that the colour of the year is Living Coral – this is the year for living! And if you are alive, you need to move to stay alive. If you don’t know where to go with your rosy cheeks and all, book a picnic with Laughing Chefs, sit under the trees and when you are really quiet, you might even hear them grow. And if pinkish-orange is your colour, remember to incorporate the colour of the year into your décor! Of course, when in doubt get the experts to do it for you. Again, Laughing Chefs.


4. Loving friends and family
May 2019 be the year where you add to your friends and family. May your house be filled with joy and laughter, with sorrow and despair never crossing the threshold. Stripes says to watch out for Laughing Chef’s wedding packages at Oudehout Mountain Lodge – adding to a family can mean so many things. They also do baby showers, kitchen teas, christenings and engagement parties, making it easier than ever before to welcome and enlarge. She also wants to remind us of all the loyal customers who have become friends. There is something about celebrating life’s accomplishments that just brings you together, forging new bonds and giving new meaning to our lives. Stripes love seeing people enter as strangers and leave as friends.


5. More chocolate cake, less guilt
May 2019 allow you to realise that health and wealth cannot be measured by a bathroom scale, and you are worth much more than the numbers on that scale. Being a bit on the heavy side herself, Stripes knows that sometimes a big personality needs a bit more room to breathe. This year, do you. If you are happy then great! If you are not, do something about it. Stripes hope that Laughing Chefs, in collaboration with Oudehout Mountain Lodge and a few selected other people, will start their retreats so that she can also book in, relax, and breathe out. Maybe detox or stretch a bit too.


6. Less daydreaming, more hustling to make them come true
May 2019 be the year that you work smarter, not harder, to reach your dreams. If you can think it, you can do it. Stripes love daydreaming, but also realise that if she doesn’t do something about it she will never wake up in a better world. She loves seeing how Laughing Chefs grows and prospers, and wishes that 2019 will also be the year in which their wildest dreams come true. And Stripes’ biggest wish? A partner in crime, someone to share her day with, and hopefully her nights. She loves seeing the weddings that Laughing Chefs do, but it also makes her a bit sad. Hopefully, this will be the year that she gets to meet her Prince charming!

And those are the things that Stripes wishes for you for the year ahead. She also says that if you ever need reminding of how awesome you are, you know where to find her!

May 2019 be the most blessed year yet!

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